Loose Screws

by In Sleep I Travel

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    A collection of 15 years of singles, B-sides. Bonus content includes covers, remixes, acoustic, and concept demos. 38 tracks total.
    *This record is optimized for headphone use*

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about

In the case of this record, the space between a cohesive album or concept, and a single. Essentially, this is an audio sketchbook. Singles, one-offs, demos, and soundscapes recorded between 2001 and 2015.
Due to a drive failure, the masters for 99% of these were lost. As such, the quality on many of them leaves much to be desired, and with the exception of a few tracks, the mixes were incomplete. While I had planned (and spent many months working on) proper mix-downs and masters of these, this is, for better or worse, what was left.

Many of these songs are released publicly for the first time with this release, and while the others have been put out in some fashion over the years, this is the first time they have all been collected into one place.

The shadow of my hysteria.

credits

released November 25, 2015

ISIT (In Sleep I Travel) is Chad Hindahl.

All songs written by In Sleep I Travel*, and are copyright 2015 Archeoptryx Media and administered through Complication Marks Heaven Music 2015

*except bonus tracks where noted.

This release is dedicated to my father and my children.

Special thanks:
Fender Instruments, Godin Guitars, Digidesign, Mac, The Computer Place, Guitar Center Spokane, Music One Workshop, Jones Music, Ernie Ball, Terry and Lorne Howe, Derek Mills, the Warrens, Bjorn Bergeson, Ryan and Brooke, Ed Wreizen, Rob Bass, Ross Capps, VAST, Saul Williams, CX Kidtronix, Sub-Origin, The Flip Wilsons, Tasisity, Ben Templesmith, Billy Howerdell, Nate Simpson, Brandon Graham, the Launchpad crew, Event Comics, Jules!, Jim Kennedy, Kel Nuttal, Michael Avolio, Princess and the rat babies, Candice and Josh, the Saxons, Captain Spade, the Calverts, Jonpagne, Joe Bereta, Pandy, NMG, Alisha Schroeder, Leila Hoerner, the Art Department ATX, Sidebar Nation, Orlando Sanchez, Francis Vallejo, Jeremiah Newton, Kit Koster, John Treat, Travis Boose, Kasey Steele, Mojo, M. West, the Nothing Records crew, Carmella, Al Romero, Josh Mullen, Tony B, Ruthie, Heather Dugger, Mariah Horine, Greg S., Tom and Bushy, AIR, Dave Navarro, Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell, Neil Gaiman, John Fowles, Ursula K. LeGuin, William Gibson, Rich and Bleeding Cool, Matias, Will Creighton, D. Derryberry, Rae and Kolourz, Clancy Leakey, Joe Johnson, Zane Stair, Phil Stempin, Harris Bloom, Starfire, Richard Patrick, Tool, Failure, MoonCat, Max Lewis, Rhonda Abrons, Puppet Noisemaker, Jeremy Haun, Josh Shackles, Dan Jolley, Paul Jenkins, Taylor Cleek, John Fleskes, Travis Charest, Dave Stevens, Terrence Malick, Hans Zimmer, David Cronenberg, Mark Romanek, Marilyn Waters, and my family. RIP: Danielle, Kayla, Cheryl Ann, Mark Anderson, Cale, B-Rad, and Ray.

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about

In Sleep I Travel Kalispell, montana

ISIT is an audio/visual component embedded in the psyche of Chad Hindahl. It began in 1999, and has since included high octane and personal live performances across the US, as well as soundtracks for film, games, and comics.

The first ISIT comic is currently in development for a 2016 release.
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Track Name: Communioncation
Closed your eyes to block the sun.
Layed down in the water, where metaphor runs.
The hammer of healing strikes the bell of dreamtime.
I hear it echo through the recess of my mind.
Reaching into the cold and deep.
To break these weighted chains on the secrets we keep.
Together we can turn this all around,
cause it bubbles up hotter the more you keep it down.
I'll see you soon, in dreamtime.
Track Name: Dead or Free
A nation changed from its pain
where a brother will turn on a brother
if he's got a dollar to gain
left to legislation to decide
was is moral and what is sane
while in the back room dealing genocide
saying shut your mouth, we've got oil to defend

the prison bars are red, white, and blue
these colors don't run, so why the fuck are you
hiding your lies behind a badge of hate
cause real freedom, doesn't discriminate
3,000 families, and counting
a minor cost in your little game
can someone tell me please
war and peace became the same

This is my flesh and blood you see
and he's all that's left of the light in me
but he has no voice, and so I've made my choice
Dead or Free

Well, I'm not sure how to stop it
and I can't just fucking drop it
and I'd listen to the voice of reason
but the brands are burning
the voice of treason
everyone's wondering how we got so far of track
while the ones we asked are the ones who hijacked
every hope and prayer and dream
this is not what freedom means

This is my flesh and blood you see
and he's all that's left of the light of me
but he has no voice and so I've made my choice
Dead or Free
Track Name: SINcerely
Is it even worth my wasted time?
Is it even worth my passion's crime?
Is it even worth it to close my eyes,
and think about you at night?
Cause I need this, dearly.

If I let you in my head,
well, it's still an empty bed.
If I saw you when I wake,
to see you turn and leave would break,
what's left of me.

Cause clearly, this was meant to be.

It's not some kind of metaphor.
It's what I meant so you'd better be goddamned sure.
When you tell me you love me,
say it over, and over, and over,
but please, say it...Sincerely.

I know about the give and take.
I'm far from perfect but I'm not fake.
All of these demons that you see, haunting me,
just my petty confessions of who I don't want to be.

So don't you go trying to twist this around,
cause I've seen the roads that you've been down.
Fear is the last thing in this place,
burning like fire when I see your face,
just want to hold you in my grace.

It's not some kind of metaphor.
It's what I meant so you'd better be goddamned sure.
When you tell me you love,
say it over, and over, and over,
but please, say it...Sincerely.
Track Name: Untamed
It's hard to shut off I know,
the voice in your head when the blood starts to flow,
It's hard to keep it trapped inside,
the feeling of being yourself that you hide.
So hard to leave it alone,
but you want it so bad, I can tell by your tone.
Spread out across the floor,
your sweats' all drained, but you still want more.

It's never the same, as when you're moaning my name, don't stop,
I wanna.
There is no shame, in coming untamed, on top,
I wanna;
feel all the thrills I've been missing
Just want to feel like it looks on the screen
I've come a long way, but I am still wishing
that I could do all the things I want done to me.

So hard to mind the place,
when your flesh is slipping under leather and lace.
So hard to feel the sting,
of the pierced red skin that your fingernails bring.
So hard to just relax,
when your tripping my heart, and your dripping like wax.
So hard to just ignore,
when inhibition fails, and we go till we're sore.
So hard to watch it end,
when you're licking your lips, and your neck starts to bend.

It's always the same, when you're playing this game, can't stop,
I wanna.
Cause there is no shame, in coming untamed, on top,
I wanna;
Feel all the thrills that I have been missing,
Just want to feel like it looks on the screen.
I've come a long way, but I am still wishing,
that I could do all the things I want done to me.
Track Name: Home
You chose your canvas,
it was the fabric of the night.
You were hunting, trying to find a way,
to turn the black into white.
I wore my soul around my neck, and it
reflected you like chrome.
Not even sure, how I came to be here,
but you're the place, that finally feels like home.

I've been around.
I've heard the boys.
I almost drowned,
in their fucked up sea of noise.
Can you look me in the eye,
and tell me this is not a lie,
cause I finally found the place
that feels like home.

Examine through these eyes and whisper,
why I shouldn't be scared.
On snowy days when boredom comes,
am I a fool to think, to think that I'd be spared?
Cause in your eyes, is a horizon,
of golden gloam.
And in your eyes, your heart, your breath,
is a place that finally feels like home.

I've been around.
I've heard the boys.
I almost drowned,
in their sea of fucked up noise.
Can you look me in the eye,
and tell me this is not a lie,
cause I finally found the place the feels like home.
Track Name: Miss Sya Complex
Well I lost control
a long, long time ago.
I went through the motions,
all the motions I stole.
When I look in the mirror,
it's a fractured reflection.
I followed your instruction,
the precription you wrote for self destruction.

I never made it high enough to see,
that you were just spreading your disease.
Maybe I fell far away, from what I'm supposed to be,
but you're the one turning your head, when you see
I'm down on my knees.

Well I, I guess you know what's best.
You wanted to save us, by putting
salvation to the test.
Your gospel etched on heart and flesh.
I'm tattooed black like you,
I guess I'm damaged goods,
just like all the rest.

I never made it high enough to see,
that you were just spreading your disease.
Maybe I fell far away, from what I'm supposed to be,
but you're the one turned your head, and I'm still
down on my knees.

This is the cure that ails me,
stuck in this, messiah complex machine.
Maybe it's not what it seems, still,
I can dream.
Was it ever really a choice,
for us to decide what you mean?

Maybe now I'm high enough to see,
that you were just spreading your disease.
I know I fell far away, from what I'm supposed to be,
I'm tired of you turning your head, I'm getting up,
off of my knees.
Track Name: 500 Days
Just had to shed some light
grew tired of the fight
who knows, maybe they were right
I was just trying to keep your heart safe

I had one food in the grave
with all the promises I gave
all swept away
in a hundred proof tidal wave

I was conceiving
of maybe believing
that this was meant to be
and all that's left is a shadow of me

Am I still falling from grace?
cause I swear
that it's been 500 days
since I saw your face
and all I've been trying to do
is build the perfect place
for me and you
but slow is the seed that I sow
and soon, you can come and
watch it grow

And after all
is said and done
it isn't something
that can be lost...or won

somewhere in time
someday you'll see
none of this was even
up to you...or me

it cannot break
but sometimes bends
may chip and fray away
but give it love and that too mends
Track Name: KeyShell
My chakra glows red hot
and it's burning through,
this numbness, and disconnection,
but I'm learning to
breath again
live again
hope and pray and love again
cause I barely remember when
there was anything left in
this heart to spend
but there was still a spark,
pushing me through the dark
a wave of faith rushing me to
the seashell on the shoreline

shining under the moonlight
at the edge of time

Look me in the eye and tell me
how 2 hearts can be wrong
cause people will despise
when they see, 2 hearts
that belong
together in a world
that's been
burning for so long
Look me in the eye and tell me
how 2 hearts can be wrong.

I've stayed invisible
guess maybe I
had my head in the sand
some say it's criminal
the fires that were fanned
but could it be
this was meant to be
a shade of destiny
it almost hurts to believe
cause I never could concieve
of the mirror that I see
when you see me
and if I leave behind
cynicism and naivette
I'm left with the key
to open up this shell
of endless possibilities

shining under the moonlight
at the edge of time
Track Name: Little Girl Who Sold God
So still in the night, you're pneuma's on my skin.
You're hands are placed away, with your eyes in secret swim.
Why did you ask for promises, I cannot keep?
Every night you drain me away from sleep.
In the shadows of my eye, it's just your face.

To taste your embrace.

Little girl who sold God.
How do I breathe, how do I pray?
Little girl who sold God.
How do I pay for the words you say?
Little girl who sold God.
Just promise that the sky won't fall.

Just say you'll stay.
Track Name: Synergy
Your toes are scraping the ground.
You're staring up at the sky.
Stretched across this merry-go-round,
wrapped in blankets of endless night.

You know I'm afraid to touch you,
you might explode into a million snowflakes,
when I look in your eyes the ground quakes,
and I'm burning from the heat your breath makes.

Somewhere inside of me, is generating synergy,
so baby bring it on to me.
Baby, give it all to me.
Track Name: Crimson Doves
Can't get enough of this skin on skin,
Like oil on water, your light slides across my sin,

Can't get enough of these shadows in which I swim,
way over my head, my eyes have gone dim.

Can't get enough of the lies the mirror has said,
but I know how to stop it all, slide the barrel in my mouth, and watch the crimson doves explode from the
back of my head.

(Chorus)
My bad Karma
comin' round again
I got plenty to spend
while I'm waiting for this whole
goddamn world to end
My bad Karma
comin' back around
my soul is gagged and bound
Bad Karma beating my prayers
right into the ground

Can't get enough of this dragon that I ride
all the times I lied, while my mother watched and cried.

Can't get enough of this changing tide
I feel it whispering deep inside,
my love of the others who've died

and I can't get enough of the way you denied
everything not right in your sight
when the crimson doves took flight

(Chorus)

All roads
lead to Rome
So sing your aquarian song
as the world untethers
just cause you wear the crown
doesn't make you better

So bless me with your guillotines

cause I am not afraid
to pay the price
that my forefathers made
so brothers, let us be brave
for our children are not slaves
Track Name: Halo Down
Just pray.

Stuck between the earth, and the sky,
I'm screaming in red rain.
There's no place for God here,
but my angel still remains.
She's pulling on my halo,
whispers in my ear, boy,
c'mon pray.

C'mon, and pray.
Track Name: the Quickening
still trying to balance the blade
of the plans as they were laid
atone for the sins I have made
that I hide in the shade
of the depths that I wade in

still trying to find time to stall
while I ignore the call
my reasons plug into the wall
but i'm trying not to fall in

I hear time is slippin'
I can feel the tic-tocs quicken
as the hope fades from your eyes

the Quickening
is coming
we're running out of time
you're sitting on the fence, boy
and it's time to choose a side

Grant my wish posthumously
to make some sense of the me
you'll never see
'cause you cannot conceive
of the cost you will leave with
the ghost who are grieving

and I hear time is slippin'
I can feel those tic-tocs quicken
as all the hope fades from your eyes

the Quickening is coming
it's time to choose your side
Track Name: Shake Kachina
inching toward the unfolding ribbon of fate
as karma unravels itself from a quickening state

shake, shake, shake kachina
dance my blue star
across the milky way
shake, shake, shake kachina

take off your mask for us all to see
to witness your indigo face
coming to shake us off of our knees

shake, shake, shake kachina
dance my blue star
across the milky way
shake, shake, shake kachina

4th world unfolding
Track Name: Aceldama
Is there anyone left, under this sun,
of lost prayers and dreams?
Will this road ever end?
Why won't my angel sleep?
And if I close my eyes,
will she disappear?
Why do these tear laced clouds,
always whisper me back to here?

Why am I spinning circles on this bridge of never ending cloudy skies?
Why am I so fucking small in your eyes?

Just give me Aceldama.

We're under eternal fire.
There's a war on for heaven, and I'll be waiting.
Our country's a funeral pyre.
We all have souls, they're just not worth saving.

Cut off, abandoned afterglow.
Breathing shallow, I wanted you to know.
All those falls, I had faith in you.
Now you tell me, I can bleed too.

There's a little bit of Judas in us all.
Are we Aceldama in the final fall?
Track Name: Defrost
Go and fuck it up.

Did you know, that you'd take my sanity, when you go?
I should have stayed adrift at sea. You froze all that's left of me.
(Right to the core, but still I want some more)

I have to defrost, there's light inside I know, the warmth will guide me home, I have to defrost before my soul is lost.
Track Name: Sincerest
Seperation anxiety, about to bring me to my knees.
Rattling the cage, on everything I thought I believed.
Stood square, tried to repair, but I guess some help is what I need.
Not there, didn't care, don't have to let the shadows lead.
The dream blows far away, it's just the ashes that stay,
ebbing over time, and eroding at the day.

Past, present, future collide, as I tumble, down this golden spiral.
It leaves me breathless inside, slowly chipping away, at my stone denial.
Cause I'm guilty as the next, and the ones before me.
How is it demons can be blessed with the breath of an angel, can't you see, it was your sincerity, that finally set me free.
Track Name: Old West
I hope you start to realize,
I've given up on comprimise,
Had your chance to reignite,
passed it up to start a fight,
it's time to cut you down to size.
I've tried every other way.
Said just what I meant to say.
Took my last reason left to stay,
my heart stopped pumping blood that day,
and the veins inside have started to fray.

I'm coming back home soon, so,
tell the old west to make room.
Got a score left to settle, and a promise to keep,
the cut might have healed,
but the scar runs so goddamned deep.
The shepherd is coming around for his sheep.
I'm coming back home soon,
so tell the old west to make some room.

The time for hesitation is through.
The hour has arrived for me to do,
what I always knew I would do, because
between me and you,
the truths' been beaten black and blue.

The good Lord knows I'm no saint.
This black will never be white,
no matter how much I paint it.
So go ahead and blame it,
cause I'll always claim it,
and it could have been love,
but it's a damn shame ain't it.

I'm coming back home soon,
run tell the old west to make some room.
Got a score left to settle, and a promise to keep,
the cut might have healed,
but the scar runs so goddamned deep.
The shepherd is coming around for his sheep.
I'm coming back home soon,
run tell the old west to make some room.
Track Name: A Collapsing Moment's Delicacy
The sun's on the snow,
there blood on the ground.
I missed your embrace,
got caught up in sound.
I tried so hard, to fade back to when.
But that sunrise, cannot be again.

I still feel your burning hand.
Even though we're worlds apart.
You're breath is made of glass.
It shatters on my raven heart.

And in your breath, again I see,
a collapsing moment's delicacy.

You hold the flame alive.
Please let me dance alone.
I still hear you cry,
from the kisses I have known.
At the edge of this existence,
where freedom still runs free,
I run through the fire,
but you still haunt me.

Disconnect my silver cord, I disconnect, disconnect.
Track Name: True Love
Well, it's not forever,
and damn if I'm not playing for keeps.
And I wish things were better,
but it's time for me to be,
the man I can be,
know that I miss you,
and I can't wait to kiss you again,
please don't forget me by then,
and always remember when,

I'd hold you under the moonlight,
we'd swim way out into the night,
playing in dreamtime, but,
still right here the whole time.

That's where I'll be!
That's where I'll be!
When you come looking for me!

As you watch green fields bloom,
then wither and die, in the cold winter night,
know that I will be waiting,
even if all of God's angels give up on me.
Until heaven collapses into the sea,
as broken as I may be,
I'll still be praying,
that you might find your way,
despite all they will say, to pull you away
from what you know in your heart.
Don't let them tear us apart,
cause they tried from the very start.
Please don't you succumb,
to the shadows, and fall numb.
Hold your head high
above the deaf, blind, and the dumb.
Cause no matter what.
No matter when.
I'll be with you again,
my true love,
my best friend.
Track Name: A wake
Not meant to be here, but clear as day,
you shine through, in everything I ever do.
I have fought and tried,
fear has crept into my eyes,
but nothing scares me more, than letting go of you.

Sometimes the memories,
are worth more to me than I am,
Somtimes, what's left of me,
is really more like you than I ever was,
since that cold September storm,
when the spark you hid inside of me,
was no longer warm.
And it burrowed down inside,
deep beneath these twisting veins,
etching in my heart,
all the farewells that remain,
from all the fractured starts,
all tattooed in shades of shame,
and at the seams it pulls apart,
with nothing left but you to blame.

I love you, but I need to let you go.
I have no wings to give,
you must find your own way home.
I'll see you soon on the shores of my dreamtime,
where the sands of the sleeping,
become the windows of life.
And in that place, where ignition takes shape,
transfigured in flame, and free,
I will once more embrace thee,
but I have no wings to give.
You must find your way alone.

There's no more room left in these bones.